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David and Jonathan

Join us as we look into covenant friendship in the Bible, focusing on David and Jonathan’s extraordinary bond. Explore how a relationship with God helps us form healthy connections, love selflessly, and overcome loneliness by grounding our identities in Christ. You will be encouraged to bring every fragmented part of your life to Jesus and become the kind of friend you long for.

Scriptures Referenced

1 Samuel 18:1; 2 Samuel 1:26; John 15:13

Key Insights

  • What covenant friendship means and why it matters
  • How to approach relationships from a whole posture, not brokenness
  • The difference between manipulation and selfless love
  • What made Jonathan’s love proactive and not transactional
  • Biblical guidance for overcoming loneliness and becoming a covenant friend

Prayer Targets

Please join us in prayer for:

  • A hunger for the Word.
  • Tears for the lost.
  • Testimonies to share.

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We would love it if you would consider joining us in person for one of our Sunday gatherings.

Gathering Times

  • Sundays, 9:00 AM
  • Sundays, 11:00 AM
  • Thursdays, 6:00 PM

Contact Info

Springhouse Church
14119 Old Nashville Highway
Smyrna TN 37167

615-459-3421

Additional Resources

CCLI License 2070006

Transcript
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Good morning church. It is

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a great day to be in the house of the Lord.

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And if you are joining us on Livestream, we wish you were

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here. But we're glad that you're joining us as well.

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So many of you are on social media of some

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sort and if you are connected to

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me on social, you may have seen a post that I put on

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social media from last week's message

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about this week's message. And it seems to be there's

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a zebra on the loose and did they

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get caught? Did they caught. Okay, they caught the zebra. Well, last night

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I was sleeping and you know, my daughter wants to make sure I keep my

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word. And so last night I was sleeping and about

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midnight I hear, hey dad. And I just jolted

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up because

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this was in my face.

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She had stayed up late making this

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and she said now you have a zebra to be a part of the

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message. And so there you go.

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I keep gonna keep my word.

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A couple of things before we get get up and cranking.

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Well, we're already cranking because God's here. And can we just show

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our appreciation for the worship team and loft

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people for leading us.

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Just a reminder that our midweek gatherings will resume in

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August. And so there are no midweek gatherings. But I do encourage you to look

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at the app and get connected to the various ministries. If

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you don't know how to get connected to the app, one of our leaders will

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be happy to show you how to do that. And then

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I think that's all the announcements I'm going to make if you're following

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with us. Last week we talked about Samuel and

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his anointing of David to become king. And if you

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know scripture and you follow along in the story, naturally today we would talk about

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David and Goliath cause that's the next story. But we've got a

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little scheduling change that happened and so we're gonna talk about David and

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Goliath next week. But today I

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get the privilege and the honor to about my

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favorite character in all of scripture. So if you're ever wondering who

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is Kevin's favorite character in all of scripture, we're going to talk about a man

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named Jonathan. We're going to know about David and Jonathan's special

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friendship. And so it spans over three chapters in First Samuel.

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And we are not going to read all three chapters this morning.

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Waiting for a hallelujah on that. But if you'll stand with me, we

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are going to read two shorts passages of scripture.

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Let's read together. After David had

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finished talking with Saul Jonathan became one

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in spirit with David and he loved him as

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himself. And one more greater love has

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no one than this to lay down for

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one's friends. Father, I thank you for your transformative truth this

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morning. I thank you Lord, that you want to change us from the

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inside out. Thank you for the gift of friendship. And Lord, I pray that

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you would speak to us tonight or today in Jesus name.

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Amen. You may be seated.

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My wife and I often like to host gatherings at our house.

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And usually when we host gatherings at our house, we will invite

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people to bring their favorite dishes. Sometimes it's a side dish,

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sometimes it's a dessert. But usually

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if we have a gathering at our house, food is gonna

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be a part of that gathering. Well, several

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Thanksgivings ago we had a gathering at our house and we were excited

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about getting together with some friends and some

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family. And we were inviting people to bring their favorite

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dessert over to the house. And I really like to eat dessert at Thanksgiving.

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Well, I like to eat dessert anytime, but I like to eat dessert at

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Thanksgiving. And so I was excited about the desserts that were going to

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arrive at our special gathering. And so people would come into

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the house and typically, typically Sherry or myself, we would greet at the door and

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we would grab whatever it is that they have prepared.

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Especially for our group together in this particular

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year. We invited a gentleman to come and be a

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part of our gathering, a friend of ours. And this friend brought

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something that looked like this to the dinner.

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And so I took the pie and I kind of glanced at

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it and I was a little stunned. It didn't have any covering, it looked

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exactly like this. And so I just kind of looked back up

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and smiled and walked around and there was no real explanation. This is what they

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had brought to the Thanksgiving dinner. And so I walked and people were walking and

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watching me as I was carrying this half eaten dish

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to the counter with the rest of the desserts. And I laid it there and

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kind of moved on. Well, the evening progressed and we

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had a great Thanksgiving together. Lots of laughter, lots of fun,

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lots of food and people went through and we ate up that turkey,

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dressing and sides and all of the desserts. But

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at the end of the night, as we were cleaning dishes, what we realized

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was, didn't nobody touch this dish. It would look just like

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that when it sat down and it looked like that at the end

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of the night. And here's the point. This is the reason why I'm telling you

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this story. Love can't flourish on fragments.

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Love can't Flourish on fragments. But so often,

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whenever we go into being in a relationship with

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anybody, we often bring fragments to the

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table. We often bring fragments to the table. And

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oftentimes with those fragments, we tie expectations

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on others to fill the remaining holes that are left

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in the dish. Can I tell you that God desires for

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us to approach all relationships from a

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whole posture? From a whole

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posture. Today we're going to talk a little bit about

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covenant friendships, and we're going to look at a story in

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scripture of a man named David and Jonathan. We talked a

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little bit about David. We haven't talked much about Jonathan yet this year.

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And like I said, and hopefully at the end you'll realize why Jonathan

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is my favorite character in scripture.

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Let's work off of a definition of what covenant means. Covenant,

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in terms of our usage today is going to mean this. A covenant is a

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promise or an agreement fueled by relationship. I'm going to

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say that once more. A covenant is a promise or an

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agreement fueled by

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relationship. Now, many of us are in some type

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of covenant relationship with somebody else.

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If you are married, you are in a covenant relationship

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with your spouse. But your marriage does not have to be your

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only covenant relationship. In fact, the most important covenant

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relationship you have is the one with Jesus Christ. The most important covenant

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relationship you have is the one with Jesus. With Jesus Christ. And so

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David. Let's set up the story here. David had just killed

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Goliath, and he was the victor, and he

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fought on behalf of Israel. And like I said, next week we're going to unpackage

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that story. And he stood there still smelling like sheep because he

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had come in from shepherding sheep, bringing in food to his

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brothers. And he was there as a victor, and people

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were praising him. But there was a man there named Jonathan. Now,

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Jonathan was King Saul's son. And Jonathan saw

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this victor, David, but saw him through a

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spiritual lens. He saw David.

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He saw David really as the Lord saw David.

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Oh, that we would have people in our lives that would have

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spiritual eyes to see us the way that God sees us.

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Oh, that we would respond to people and our actions in

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our words in a way that says, I see you

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the way God sees you. Because let me tell you, in my

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natural eyes, I see a lot of things. And it ain't

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always the way God sees it. And I'm sure when people

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look at me, they could see the same thing. In a moment of

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spiritual recognition, Jonathan responds.

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And he doesn't respond like the crowd. The crowd was

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cheering David on. They were. This is the Victor,

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Israel has won. But David responds

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as the son of the king. And what we would expect the son

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of the king to respond would be with jealousy,

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with a little bit of, that should have been me. Why are they praising David?

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But it was not met with jealousy or with competition. It was met

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with surrender. He took off his robe,

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the robe of royalty, and placed it on David. And then his sword and his

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bow and his belt. And this was not just Jonathan being

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generous to David because he slew the giants. No,

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this was because Jonathan saw as God

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saw. And Jonathan saw something in

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David that God had anointed him.

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He had anointed him as king. You know, it strikes me

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very interesting that just a few verses prior

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to the opening of First Samuel, chapter 18

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is we see Saul trying to render his

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armor to David. Do you remember that portion of Scripture

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where Saul is saying, put on my armor and go out and fight this

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giant? To which David responds, after putting it on, this

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doesn't fit. This doesn't feel right. I

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cannot go out and fight in your armor. Well, lo and behold,

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verses later, the son Jonathan renders off his

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robe, his sword, his shield, and it

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fits. And it fits. Here's the

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thing. Saul's armor was about performance. Jonathan's

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armor was about identity. The armor of

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expectation will always weigh you down, but the

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robe of covenant will always lift

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you up. This was not contractual.

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It wasn't conditional. It wasn't, I'll do

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this for you if you do something for me. It was relational.

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It was selfless. It was a covenant.

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It was a covenant. Here's the thing. We are

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empowered to make extraordinary selfless choices when

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our vertical relationship supersedes our horizontal

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circumstances. We are empowered to

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make extraordinary selfless choices

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when our relationship and our posture is a

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vertical posture. How many times have

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you been in some type of relationship, friendship with someone,

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someone. And they do something that angers you,

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hurts you, they don't meet an expectation that you have, and

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it leaves you feeling a little bit gross. Anybody in

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the house ever have that happen to you? Here's the thing.

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We have the extraordinary. Excuse me, the

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extraordinary ability to respond in selfless

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ways when we have a vertical posture

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and horizontal circumstances. And

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Jonathan here has got a horizontal circumstance in

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front of him. This is David. And

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Jonathan is the rightful heir to the throne after

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Saul. And Jonathan, willingly

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noting what God has said, understanding of

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the anointing that God has placed on David says, I'm going to

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render my position, my

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authority, everything I have. What type of

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selfless love is that? It's certainly

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not a love that I come to easily. And some of you would say

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the same thing, that we would be so selfless to render up a position

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that is rightfully ours and not just render

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it because somebody has told us to, but render it just from the

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fact that I love you and I want nothing in return.

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I want nothing in return.

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Jonathan's ability to give freely to David didn't come from

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personality, it came from priority. He put God first, and

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that vertical alignment freed him to love without

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fear. Jonathan chose to obey. And when we

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obey the Lord, the Lord becomes our source.

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And in that, he was freed from. Here's the thing. When people

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become your source, love becomes a strategy.

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When people become your source, love becomes a strategy. So many

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times we bring to friendships and relationships, we bring a

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fragmented life. And here's the thing. Instead of going to

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Jesus to fill all of the gaps, we try to pull that out of the

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people that we're connected to. We say, I want something out of you

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to fill this need. But can I tell you, here's the thing. This is the

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steps of Christian maturity right here. The first thing is to recognize that you have

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fragmented pieces. Can I tell you, this morning, every one of you woke up this

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morning fragmented and broken. The second step of

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maturity is to understand I need something more than another

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human to fill up all of the gaps that are in my life.

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I've got to have something supernatural. I've got to have something

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external to fill up those gaps in my life. But here is the ultimate

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achievement of a believer in terms of maturity. When it comes to

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relationships, it's understanding that it's not about filling up the

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gaps. Jesus says, bring me your fragments and I'm going to give you my

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perfection. Bring me your brokenness and your fragments, and I'm

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going to give you my wholeness. And so every morning

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we get up as we die to ourselves, and we ask the Lord

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to make me whole. But see, here's what we tend to do. Robert

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Cole, Michael this is what we tend to do. Kurt

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I spend time with the Lord on Tuesday morning, and I'm whole.

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But I bring Tuesday's leftovers into Saturday morning's

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altercation because I didn't wake up on Saturday morning and spent any

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time with the Lord. You see, here's the thing. It is a daily

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renewal. You wake up every day

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broken and fragmented. You remember the story of the

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Israelites when they are in the wilderness and God gives them manna for

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the day. People were out there because they thought they were Going to

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be smart. And they said, I'm going to have a basket or two

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extra and I'm going to bring it into the next day. What happened to that

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bread? It went bad. God gives you just

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what you need for this day. He gives you a

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dispensation of grace for today. He gives you everything you

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need to be whole for today. And if you will lean on him and you

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will surrender the fragmented, broken pieces you bring to the

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table, he will meet you right where you are. And you can encounter every

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relationship, respond to every situation and a whole state.

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Because of Jesus. Because of Jesus. If

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Jonathan had needed David to feel him,

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to affirm him or promote him, his love

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would have been strategic. But he didn't

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because God was already enough. He wasn't using

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David to feel secure. He loved David out of security

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in the one true God. Here's the thing. When you try to get

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wholeness from others, you end up manipulating love instead of giving it.

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Manipulation is taking a situation and

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intentionally infusing thoughts, ideas, words or

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actions to get your way.

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And broken, fragmented people will encounter a

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relationship and they will manipulate the situation to

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drain other people to get what they need.

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And at the end of the day, both people end up empty.

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Jesus is the only one who can fill us, folks. Jesus is the only

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one who can make us whole. Jesus does not manipulate.

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He does not manipulate. The tragedy in many

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relationships is that we come into them with deep needs

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and subtle agendas. And when people fail

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to meet those unspoken needs, we withdraw, we

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manipulate, we resent. But Jonathan, listen.

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Jonathan was already whole because he

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knew his God, so he could give himself without

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needing something in return. Has anybody ever gone snowboarding before?

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Raise your hand if you've gone snowboarding. Okay. Well, praise the

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Lord. Let me tell you a little story. I went snowboarding a

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long, long time ago. I have not been back since and

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went with a buddy of mine snowboarding to a mountain called Mount

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Hood. It's out on the West Coast. And two

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weeks prior to us going, this is around Christmas time. Two weeks prior to us

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going, the ski resort had closed down because some people had died on the

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mountain. My buddy felt it was good to let me know this information

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prior to going, which was real wonderful foundation to start this

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trip and journey on. And so we go to this Mount Hood. And

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the guy I went with, he was an avid. I mean, that's probably a picture.

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It's not really a picture of him. That could be a picture of me. He's

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an avid snowboarder. He knows what he's doing. And so we go to Mount

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Hood on this beautiful day, this cold, bitterly

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cold day where the snow was actually not snow, it was ice.

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But everybody was going because it was a clear, beautiful

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day. And so we get there and he's got all of his gear, he's brought

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everything with him because he's an avid snowboarder, but I'm not. And so I have

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to go through these little stations to get all of the gear that I'm renting

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so that I can go snowboarding. So we go through and they put on all

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of the jackets and all of the things, gloves, all of that. And I get

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to the place where I have to put on a snowboard and they ask this

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very simple question. They say, kurt, are you regular or goofy

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footed? Well, knowing myself, I had no idea what that meant, but I definitely

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had to be goofy footed because that just goes suit with how I walk and

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all those things. I said I'm goofy footed for sure. I'm sure I am. I

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was trying to expedite the process because my friend was waiting on me. It took

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two and a half, three hours before I could get everything on and we could

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get going. Well, I get out there and I've got the snowboard and there's these

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little slopes. So these little things, I think they call them bunny slopes over

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here to the right. And I'm looking over there and I'm seeing people, I'm

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seeing them fall, I'm seeing them try. I'm thinking, oh, what a wonderful place to

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practice. And my buddy says, you don't need to go over there. I'm going

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to take you up on the ski lift and I'll tell you what to do

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on the way up. Well, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm

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thinking, okay, I can trust this fellow. So we go up in the ski lift

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and my friend is a musician and we get talking about music

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and stuff and some interest of his. And we just get into this conversation as

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we're waiting in line and getting on the ski lift. Well, we get on the

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ski lift and we go up. And as we go up the

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ski lift, there are these moments where the ski lift goes

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slower and it goes straight and it's a flat piece of land with snow on

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it. A little log cabin. And then where people are starting to take off down

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the mountain, right? Well, we pass 1,

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2, 3, 4,

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5. We continue to pass these little places

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where you get off. But we're having a great conversation about music.

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Well, all Of a sudden, we passed this thick layer of clouds to where I

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couldn't see anything beneath me except for the clouds. And it dawned on

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me. I think we're supposed to be getting off this ski lift real soon.

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And so I grab his arm and say, hey, when do we get off of

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this thing? And then he says, oh, no. Oh, no was not a good

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thing for him to tell me at that moment. So

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he said, I need you to listen to me quit. See, we

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had passed all these signs that said, if you're not going to the black diamond,

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go ahead and get off. Now, I didn't know what a black diamond was at

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the time. I do now. We were headed up to a black

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diamond portion of the thing. And the way

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that this particular ski lift worked is there were

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no more time, there were no more chances for us to get off on

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that flat land with the thing. This part of the thing

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shot you off, and you had to be ready to go skiing down the

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mountain from the lift. I'd never been skiing before in my

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life, snowboarding. So he tells me to put the board on

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my feet. So I'm kind of like this. He's telling me about going back and

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forth, all of this stuff. I don't remember what he said. So

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we're there, and the ski thing goes like this. And I

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jump out like Superman. I went face

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first down that mountain. Three minutes, three, four minutes. I hit

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every tree. I hit every snow bank. My

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whole body was busted up against the ice multiple times. I

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rolled, I skid. I hit people. I hit things. I hit

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rocks. There were so many hits in that moment that I literally

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went limp and said, jesus, take my life.

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It was the worst experience of my life. Four or five minutes down

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the mountain when I finally got to slaughter. See, when you're at the top of

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the mountain, it doesn't look like this. It looks like this. And I was going

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like Superman, like this. Around the trees, evergreens, all

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these things. Well, the paramedics and all those people come up the mountain to get

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me, put me on the thing, drive me down, get me down into the

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medical place, and I'm there, and I am busted up. Thankfully.

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I don't know how. I didn't break a thing. I didn't break a thing. Very

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bruised up. Well, it's hours later, hours later.

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And my friend who took me up in the first place, he had gone up

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and down the mountain multiple times, and he came to the thing. He said, man,

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Kevin, what are you doing? Where you been? I never wanted to punch somebody

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more in my life than in that moment. But I could barely

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talk and I could barely move, and so I didn't hit him.

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Here's the thing. Jonathan was not that type of friend.

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Jonathan, in the midst of adversity between his

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relationship with Saul and David,

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he stood in a strong foundation. And he did not leave

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David's side. Here's the

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story. David kills Goliath.

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Jonathan renders his clothes. The word tells

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us that they were knit together in soul and spirit. They were knit together

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together. They made a covenant with one another. Saul starts to

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get jealous of David. And Saul decides that he wants to

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kill David. And he makes some attempts to do so and they fail. So

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finally he brings Jonathan around. He says, jonathan, I want you to go kill

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David. Have you ever had a friend come to you and say, I want you

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to do this to somebody else? Now, it may not throw a dagger at

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them, but it might be, I want you to talk bad about this person. Person.

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I'm going to send you on assignment to do something to manipulate a

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situation. So Saul goes to Jonathan, says, I

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want you to kill David. And instead of being loyal to his father,

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at that moment, he runs to David and gives David a heads up and says,

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you've got to flee because my dad's after you. Let me try to convince

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him not to kill you. So David flees and goes and hides, and

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Jonathan gets with Saul and says, listen, David is a great guy.

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He's my friend. Don't kill him. And Saul, he was so

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convinced not to kill him, the word says that Saul said, before the

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Lord, I will not kill David. And so

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Jonathan meets up with David and says, the coast is clear,

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you can come back. David goes back to the kingdom, to the palace, and

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starts to play the harp, plays music for the king. While Saul is

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being tormented by demons, he's being tormented by what's going

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on in his life. Remember, the anointing has left him, but the king is sitting

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right there playing the instrument before him. And Saul

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says, I am so jealous of this David. And he begins to want

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to kill him again. So he puts a secret army together to go after David

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and to kill him. But he doesn't tell Jonathan about it because Jonathan would have

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told David. Now, Saul didn't know he would tell him, but he didn't tell Jonathan.

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It was a secret plan. And at every attempt he missed.

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And the Lord protected David. So David flees again. So Jonathan,

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where's David? They send word together, they meet up. And David comes before

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Jonathan and says, listen, If I have done something wrong in your

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sight, kill me right now. Please. Your father is after

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me. And Jonathan and David, in that moment they made, they

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renewed their covenant. How many know that sometimes in relationships you

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need to renew your covenant? You need to be reminded of the

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promise that you have made. And so in that moment, they renew their

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covenant. And they decide, we're not going to touch each other. Our

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children's children are going to be protected. And so they renew their covenant.

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And Jonathan goes back to the kingdom. There's a dinner that they're

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at. Saul's there. And David is supposed to be at that dinner and doesn't show

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up. He asks Jonathan and says, jonathan, where is David? He's supposed to be here.

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And Jonathan says, david is out sacrificing with his family. Saul gets

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real upset about this, and he gets angered. And then he turns against his

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own son, Jonathan. Jealousy can

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really do some crazy stuff. Jealousy can

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really cause you to do some

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crazy things. So he turns against his son Jonathan.

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And at that, Jonathan knew that Saul's aim was to kill

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David. And so, giving a signal to David through

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a way that they had worked out with arrows, Jonathan

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had to communicate to David that he wasn't welcome back to the kingdom because

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Saul was going to kill him. And there they meet in the middle of

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a field, and probably the most tender place that we find

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in Scripture that conveys the emotional connection

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between these two men where they weep together, knowing

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it's going to be the last time they see each other. And the scripture tells

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us, and we'll talk about this more in a moment, that David wept

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the most. David wept the most

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because his love for David wasn't based on what David could do for him,

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but on what God was doing in David. He didn't treat their

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relationship as a transaction. He didn't need David to

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validate him, because Jonathan was always already living from

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a place of surrender. Listen. Most people enter

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relationships asking, what can I get from this?

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But Jonathan didn't come looking to get. He came ready to give.

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Why? Because his soul already belonged

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to somebody else. He didn't need David to fill his

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gaps. He already handed those over to God. Listen.

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Jesus meets us in fragmentation and

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offers us an invitation daily. He says this.

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Give me your broken pieces, and I will give you my peace.

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Jesus says, hand me your expectations and I will give

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you my identity. And he says,

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surrender your striving and I will fill you with rest.

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Is there anybody in the house that could use peace, know your

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identity, or go into a place of rest this morning. See, I

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venture to say that there are people that are listening under the sound of my

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voice this morning, that you have come in and you are alone.

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You have felt alone. I read a statistic this week. I

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know statistics are bogus at times, but I read a statistic this week that

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said 72% of Christians

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would ascribe to themselves that I am lonely most of the time,

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72% of believers saying I'm lonely

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most of the time. Can I tell you something? If there's any

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demographic on the face of the earth that should know how to do covenant,

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relationship and friendship, it should be believers. If there's

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anybody that should know how to do relationship, well,

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it should be believers in the Lord Jesus Christ.

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So why is it that so many believers walk in and out of this

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place, walk in and out of life, still feeling a sense of loneliness?

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Could it be because our priorities and our identity

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is placed in other things than the Lord Jesus Christ?

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Because when we wake up each day whole before the

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Lord, then we don't have to worry about what people say, what

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people do, the words and the name assignments that people ascribe

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to us. We can trust the Lord. He has incredible things to say

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about you. He has wonderful plans for your life. He did not make a

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mistake. Can you look at your neighbor and say, you are not a mistake,

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you're not a mistake this morning. God has a plan and a purpose

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for your life. And if you are sitting there and you are lonely this

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morning, I beseech you this morning to open your

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spiritual antennas this morning. Confess and surrender

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the posture of loneliness this morning and invite the Holy Spirit to come

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in and do some heart surgery in your life. Invite the Holy

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Spirit to do some heart surgery in your life. This is the heart of Jonathan's

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posture, and it is the way of Christ. Jonathan didn't

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disappear when things got difficult. He didn't

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equip David and then leave him to figure it out. He stood

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beside him in the tension between Saul and David, between

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authority and anointing, between loyalty and truth.

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So here's the deal. You cannot be a bridge for someone else

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when you are crumbling inside yourself.

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Jonathan stood between Saul and David. And

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had Jonathan been wrestling with insecurity and needing

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his identity affirmed by any of these men, he could have not stood in

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the gap. Have you ever been between a relationship? Have you ever been

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the person in the middle, between this person and this person who are

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at odds with one another? Can I tell you what the best thing

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to do in that position is point both of them to Jesus Christ.

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Don't point them to each other. Don't listen with the ear to say, oh, you're

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right. Oh, you're wrong. I wouldn't even use the words, you're right and wrong. I

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would say, what does the Lord say about you? Point

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them back to Jesus. Here's the thing. When I go to the Lord about somebody,

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listen, when Vonda gets on my nerves, I don't go to the Lord about Vonda.

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Because when I go to the Lord about Vonda, he says, kevin, let's look at

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you, okay? Fonda doesn't get on my

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nerves. I get on hers. But, you know, you get the. You get the. You

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get the gist. Most of the time when I go to the Lord and I'm

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like, lord, you need to change that person. He says, well, let's pull up a

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mirror first.

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And then he says, if I never allow them to change their

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behavior, how are you going to

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choose to respond in the relationship? Because

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my propensity is to withdraw,

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to reject. But God says, I want you to

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embrace and I want you to love.

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That's difficult, Lord. Well, yes, it is, because I don't want you to do it

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on your own.

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Jonathan was able to stand in that painful, high pressure place

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because his foundation was strong. He wasn't trying

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to please everyone. He

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wasn't trying to please everyone. Can I tell you

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that your calling on life is not to make everybody happy.

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The calling on your life is to be obedient to the Lord Jesus Christ.

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And sometimes that's meaning somebody's going to be upset with you.

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They're not going to like what you say. They're not going to like what you

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do.

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Jonathan stood in the gap. How you treat

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others, let's be reminded, friends, is a reflection of your

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relationship with the Lord. I

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cannot stand when people parade around, I love Jesus,

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but I don't love people. The actions and the

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words do not match the description. I don't know how you can say

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I love Jesus and not love people. Because

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we're his people. He loves you.

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He loves us, and he calls us to love

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one another. How you treat others is

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a reflection of your relationship with the Lord. Jonathan

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honored Saul even when Saul was wrong. He protected David even

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when he put him in danger. Why? Because his love wasn't

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based on their behavior. It was based on his devotion to God.

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The fruit of your relationship often reveals the root of your spiritual life.

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As Saul's rage grows, Jonathan realizes David

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truly is in danger. The two friends Develop a secret signal. As

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we talked about, Jonathan shoots the arrow in the field. And where the arrows

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land, it lets David know whether he's safe and he's not.

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So after the servant leaves from collecting the arrows, they meet once again. They

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embrace, they weep. And they know everything has changed. And

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the Bible says this David wept the

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most. Oh, that we would be a

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people that we love so deep

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that we weep the most, that we weep

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the most. This tender moment

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calls on the vulnerability of

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people. Here's the thing. David and Jonathan get a bad

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rap in today's culture as being soft. Can I tell

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you, they were anything but soft. They were warriors. They killed

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people. David and Jonathan were not soft.

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David and Jonathan were whole. They

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were whole. And let me tell you, especially guys

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in the room who act as if or perceive as if you

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can't be sensitive or compassionate or kind.

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Can I tell you, the wholeness of Jesus Christ in your life will

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render you able to do those things,

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the things of the world. The way the world

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executes, intimacy and friendship is never going to

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look like the kingdom. A few weeks back, I made a

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very strong declaration that I thought some of you were going to gasp

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at, and Connie sure did. It was this.

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Jesus was weird. He was weird.

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And guess what? But we're also called to be weird.

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And if you love the way Christ loves, you're going to look weird to the

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world. But if your identity and your

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wholeness come from him, doesn't matter one bit what they say or they

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do about it. And here's the thing, those people who

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are throwing daggers words at you, loving the way Christ

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tells you to love, it's only because they have got an empty hole. And they

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want the same thing in their life. They want the same thing

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in their life. You don't have to be lonely.

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You don't have to be alone.

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And here's the thing, instead of us going into relationships, trying to

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pick at people and change them, especially when we have eyes, when we come in,

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we're like, well, this message is for you. This is for you. Here's. Let's remember

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the Holy Spirit changes people, not you.

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The Holy Spirit is the one that will change people. So many times

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I go before the Lord and I said this earlier, but man's like, holy Spirit,

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would you change this about them? And he's like, well, I'll

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work on them, but let's look at the mirror and get some things

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going on in your life. This is my buddy, Tim Hooper. Many of

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you know him because he's Spoken here a time or two. And I've got

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a number of Jonathan's in my life. This is one of my

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Jonathan's. And our friendship started with me

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seeing that he went to my old Baptist church, church on Facebook. And

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I saw that he was there, and he was running, doing races and running to

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raise money, and he was involved with politics, and he was becoming

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notable in the community. And I saw it on social media. And because of

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our connection in the old church, I thought, you know, I need to kind of

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connect with this guy and see and just kind of see if we cross paths

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at the other church and that type of thing. And so I

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reached out to him and I said, hey, would you like to get together for

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a cup of coffee? And he said, absolutely, that would be great. And so we

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set up a date and time, and I arrived to coffee and I waited and

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I waited and I waited, and Tim didn't show up.

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Now, I could have just kicked and screamed and been upset and said, well, whatever,

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you know, I reached out to him and I said, hey. And he just totally

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forgot, which for Tim in that moment was totally the Lord, because the Lord was

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already working on chipping up Tim's pride

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and those types of things. And I didn't know that until later, but he said,

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I am so sorry. Can we please get. Can we please, please still get together?

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And so we end up going to Toots and we have lunch together, and he

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spends an hour and a half telling me all about

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accolades and things he's doing, things he's involved with, just the

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kindest person. And we got to the end of that lunch, and I

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learned a whole lot about what he was doing. And the tab was paid.

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And I said, let's get together again. I think he was a little bit surprised

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that I invited him back out. I said, let's get together again. He said, okay.

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And I said, but next time we get together, I'd like to meet Tim Hooper.

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And that statement changed the trajectory of our friendship,

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because I wanted to know beyond the surface. I wanted to

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know more than what everybody else got to see, because I could go on

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Facebook to find that out. I wanted to know his heart.

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And because we were intentional with each other, we now have, 15

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years later, a bond that I could call him and ask him to get on

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a plane tomorrow and he'd be here in three seconds. Seconds. And vice versa.

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He has walked alongside me and been a confidant on things that

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on so many different church. I say, church matters, life

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matters, business matters, school Matters,

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all of the things, and vice versa. We play pivotal roles in

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our lives and we have talked intentionally

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and verbally about being covenant friends.

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That's a weird relationship in the earth and the world,

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but it's exactly what we're called to be in the kingdom.

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And it works because he and I both bring our fragments to the Lord.

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He makes us whole and then we come together and we grow in

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him. Jonathan did not try to control

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David's next step. He didn't say, don't forget me because you're King.

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He didn't give instructions, warnings or ultimatums. He released

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David because he trusted God more than he clung to the

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relationship. Many of us live with a burden that God

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never asked us to carry. We're trying to fix people, manage

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outcomes, protect futures. But your job isn't to

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change anyone. Your job is to be faithful and let the Holy Spirit do the

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transforming. Jonathan died in battle.

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Listen to this. He dies in battle next to his

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father, being loyal and allegiant to

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the king, the one who was going to kill his best friend.

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He never sat next to David on the throne. He never reaped the

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benefit of the love that he rendered to David.

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He never saw the fulfillment of his sacrifice. But David

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never forgot him. And when the

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news reached David, he wept and he wrote a lament. And he said this.

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I grieve for you, Jonathan, my brother. You were very dear to

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me. Your love for me was wonderful. More

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wonderful than that of a woman.

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He didn't write that romantically, he wrote

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that covenantially. He wrote that from a

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deep place that so many shallow people will never reach

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when they don't allow the power, the transformative work of Jesus

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Christ to do its work in their life.

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There is deep connection available for everyone

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in this place. If you want it.

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Many of you would raise your hand and say, I want a Jonathan in

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my life. I want a Jonathan in my life. If you weren't

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prideful enough, some of you would raise your hand and say, I want a Jonathan

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Jonathan in my life. Here's the thing.

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I can't guarantee that there will be a Jonathan in your life.

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But if you want a Jonathan in your life, let me give you the first

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step. Start being a Jonathan to somebody else.

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Start exuding the selfless love of Jesus on

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someone else. And all of a sudden you will find yourself in

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extraordinary relationships that you never thought possible. Life

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changing relationships and friendships that you never thought

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possible. Because when the Holy Spirit gets involved,

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fullness abounds. Fullness

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abounds. And Guys,

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God desires for you to be whole. God

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desires for you to be whole. Worship team, you can come back. We

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live in a fractured world, a world of partial

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presence, conditional love and self protection disguised as wisdom.

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We crave deep relationships, but we're afraid of giving too much of

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ourselves. So we just offer enough to be included, but not enough to

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be changed. Yet in the scriptures, we see a

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different way, a better way. The story

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of David and Jonathan offers us a glimpse of

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selflessness, covenant

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and friendship. It's not perfect, people relating

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to one another. It's wholeness,

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loving with everything you've got. I don't believe

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that Jonathan's story is just a story of friendship. It's

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a blueprint for wholeness in relationship, selfless covenant,

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vertical strength. And it empowers us

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on the horizontal to sacrifice our will.

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What we see, how we want to receive, respond. Jonathan

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lived whole and you can too.

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He loved whole, he died whole. God

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desires that for you not to operate out of wounds or fear,

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but out of a full place with him. To love from the

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overflow, not the deficit.

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And so this begs the question,

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what if they never change?

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What if they never change?

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Have you spent years of your life trying

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and working so hard to get them to do or be

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or say something that they're not going to do? What if they

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never change? The litmus test of your wholeness is

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will you still choose to love them despite the fact that they're not

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changing?

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Because your security does not come from them.

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What you need does not come from that place. What

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you need comes from the source, from the God who

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breathes stars. David didn't love

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Jonathan because David earned it. He didn't remain

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loyal to Saul because Saul deserved it. It. He

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loved because he was faithful. He loved because it was

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right. He loved because his relationship with God empowered him to do so.

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Guys, we often withhold love until we see improvement.

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But Jonathan reminds us, true love is not reactive,

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it's proactive. It moves first. Love

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moves first.

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Love moves first. It's not a 50, 50

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thing. It's not a I'm going to wait until you meet me right here in

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the middle. Love says, I'm going to do the whole hundred yard sprint.

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And if you don't respond to me, it doesn't matter because your

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actions are not a prerequisite to my love.

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And this is exactly how Jesus treated us. Who do

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we see that looks like Jonathan's looking like in scripture?

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It's Jesus Christ. He gave up everything,

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every position, every status. He gives it up for

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you and me. And he says, I'm going to love you with a

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selfless type of love. I'm going to see you

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even when you don't see me. I'm going to be a part

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of your life, says Jesus Christ. Even if you don't give me

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anything back, I'm here. Oh, that

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we would be a people that would love in this way.

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I want Jonathan's in my life.

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I want to love in a weird way that the world looks at and says,

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what's that about? And they have two choices. They can talk about it, or they

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can come and receive what they need. I want to exemplify

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Jesus through being compassionate and

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sensitive and kind, but also be able to rise up as a

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warrior in the time when I need to draw sword. I want

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somebody who will have my back in the midst of battle.

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I want somebody who will weep with me when I need to

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cry. I want somebody in my

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life who will lift my arms up when it seems like everybody else has

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turned their back.

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And I'm so grateful to the Lord that I've got a couple

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individuals in my life that serve in that way.

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But it takes me waking up every morning, laying

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down my fragmented, broken life and choosing to love like

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Jesus loves.

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Won't you do the same? Won't you love

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like Jonathan? Won't you love like Jesus?

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Would you stand with me today?

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Some of you have come into this place. If you're going to pray with people,

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come on forward. Some of you come in this place and

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maybe this message resonated with you because. Excuse me,

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because you're lonely

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and you're like, Kevin, you're right. I long for deep

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connection and friendship. And I'm trying and I'm trying

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and I'm trying. Or maybe you're in a place you say, I've just thrown in

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the the towel. Well,

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it is not a coincidence that you're here this morning. The Holy Spirit of

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God is here this morning to help remind

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you that he can fill every crevice and

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hole that you've got in your life. That pain, that

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wound, that hurt. He sees it. He sees the scars and

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the holes that other people placed in your life.

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Some of you need the Holy Spirit to open up your tear ducts and allow

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some tears to be released, because that's going to be the only way that you

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achieve the healing that you're after.

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Can I tell you there's some Jonathan's in this room that will literally hold you

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as you weep. I know

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because I've been held by some of them.

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So this morning. Now, you can be hard,

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just whatever, or you can say,

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jesus, I need you to lavish your love on me so that I can lavish

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it on others. And I'd be remiss to think that there aren't other

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needs in this place. Medical issues, sicknesses.

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Guys, the God that breathes stars is here this morning and will meet with

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you. You don't have to leave the same way you came. Let's

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worship.

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